Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Angela King - Secret Pork Scallops

Angela King is a Hull-based comedian who recently reached the finals of Mr. Ben's New Act of the Year.

This recipe takes a bit of prep and you're going to end up with a filthy kitchen, (no offence if it already is) but I promise you now, you will be one addiction up because these are blooming gorgeous!
It's a variation on an old army recipe apparently, they really know how to prepare a great last supper!


For the scallops you will need

4 pork loin steaks, fat and white membrane bits removed
1 cup of plain flour 
2 tubs of golden breadcrumbs, if you're too posh to use these, gravel from your front drive will go down just as well with me
1 tablespoon of garlic salt or garlic granules
4 eggs, beaten.
Olive oil, regular will do fine.
For the salad:

Half a cucumber
4 tomatoes, I prefer plum vine, but if you're not posh enough to buy these, any toms' will do.
1 bunch of spring onions
1 packet of greek feta cheese.

To make the scallops,
Take 4 plates, Mix the garlic salt with the flour on 1 plate, the beaten egg on another, and the third plate the breadcrumbs, the 4th plate is where you are going to place the pork once it has had it's treatment.
OK, this is the best part, get your loins and get a great big meat hammer, or a meat tenderizer, take each steak and BASH it out until it becomes twice the size of what is was originally, you have to use the mallet to manipulate the pork (it's a skilled job) after a couple of attempts you should be able to create something similar to a patch of Jame Gumb's jacket. Now take your new piece of thin pork steak and coat it in the flour mixture, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs, make sure you press the meat down into each one ensuring that it's completely coated and saturated in each ingredient, you will know if you've done it right because your fingers will be looking like skinny corn dogs and you should have a lovely looking piece of breaded pork to look at while you suck the salmonella off your hands.

Once you've cleaned your hands and washed up the used pots, (because we all know it's best to keep on top of our kitchens!) take a frying pan or a wok, heat up the oil until it's almost smoking, add one of the pork scallop and turn after a few seconds just to make sure each side is coated slightly in the oil, then reduce the heat a bit, cook for around 4-5 minutes each side. The breadcrumbs should start to look a deep golden brown colour with slightly darker brownish bits here and there and the meat inside should be lovely and white and cooked, don't forget, you've bashed the meat to such thinness that any longer would totally overcook it.
I usually then put the scallops onto a warming plate in a low temp oven while you cook the others.
Repeat this cooking process with the other 3, or 4 or 8 scallops, depending on how well you did with the hammer.
Now this recipe we used to have with spaghetti melanzane, but I found it was just too much food, so now we have it with a mixed greek cheese salad instead, to make that, take all of the salad ingredients, chop them up finely and then finger them into a lovely mixed salad with your CLEAN hands. 

And that's it.

I promise, I know it sounds like a lot of hassle but this will really make you say "OMG that is special" when you scran it for the first time! That's why they're a secret!! SHHHHHHUSHH!!!


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